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Vol.1096《四个春天:温柔能带来这世上最美好的东西》

一家人聚在一起翻看老照片,充满炙热人情味的老家亲戚,春天里和爸妈一道儿穿过油菜花田打野菜……他的视线对准日常,却能剥离日常中的司空见惯。
在他的文字里,做腌菜是美的,搭车野游是美的,沟壑纵横的面庞是美的,生活本身是美的,记忆里那些记不清的片段也是美的……

主播:苏北 | 制作:郡子

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拍完《四个春天》后,很多次映后交流里,都有观众问到同一个问题:影片的拍摄过程中,有哪些记忆深刻的细节?每听到这个问题,我都会停顿片刻,因为这样的记忆太多了,需要选择,我每次的回答也不尽然相同。有些片段最终并未放入成片,但在生活里它们仍然影响着我。

我的房间斜对着厨房,起身便能看到天井。我习惯晚睡晚起,将近中午,爸妈会来叫我起床吃饭。一天起得早,我看见爸在天井里给妈熬中药。这个过程很漫长,要把煨出来的药汤熬成膏,所以火要小,还得不停搅动,防止粘锅糊掉。我问爸这么冷的天为什么不在厨房里熬,爸说味道太大,水汽太重。他说话的语气总是平平静静的。我几次去换他,他也不肯,说依我的性格做不好这种事。我隔着窗,看他挨着厨房坐在天井一角。厨房里妈在准备饭菜或做针线活。腊月间天气寒冷,爸一只手揣在手套里,脚焐在装有热水袋的脚套里,木铲子在锅里一圈一圈地划,手冷了就换另一只,满头白发在阴冷的空气里微微颤动。电磁炉的刺刺声从门窗缝里钻进来,细细的,安宁得让人心里微颤。我呆呆地看着被框在一扇窗里的他,像端详着一幅画,一幅在时间里流动的画。中药的味道渐渐传来,仿佛很多暗色记忆的索引,我心下一动,又架起了相机。虽然同样的景象拍了很多次,但我觉得每一次都有特别的意义,我愿意记录下哪怕千篇一律的动作。

刚拍了一会儿,妈从厨房里出来了,手里拿着做了一半的小鞋子,老花镜垂到鼻翼。她在爸侧后方站了好久,低头看着锅里搅动的木铲。爸没有回头,依然注视着手中的活计。我们三人的目光就这样以不同方式和心情,聚焦在那把木铲上。这感觉很奇异,仿佛那稳固的律动里,有一个情感的结把我们绑在了一起。过了一会儿,妈眼神恍惚起来,似乎神思已经飘远了。我猜想她一定回忆起了很多岁月中的风风雨雨。她眼神越来越温柔,抬起手抚摸爸的白发,柔声说,你的头发应该理啦。爸说,嗯。这一声回应让她回神过来,脸红扑扑地笑了起来,用普通话说,谢谢啦。妈在说一些难以启齿的话时,会换成普通话,似乎隔着一层习惯,就易于开口了。爸说,谢什么鬼啊。她好笑说,谢谢你的情啊,谢谢你的爱呀。爸也笑了,然后叹息一声,没再说话。

我从来没听过哪个老人这样直接地表达爱意。愣了一下,像偷窥了什么秘密而怕被发现一样脸红起来。我轻轻关掉相机,蹑手蹑脚摸回床上躺下。过了不久,妈来敲我的门,懒鬼,起来吃饭啦。我应了一声。那一整天,我都陷在一种化不开的温柔里。

一年除夕,年夜饭后我正在洗碗,爸妈打开了电视等《春晚》,房间突然黑下来,停电了。愣了一下后,黑暗里响起爸的笑声:哈哈哈,好玩。他突如其来的快乐点燃了我们的情绪,都跟着笑了起来。我掏出火机打亮去找蜡烛,隐约看到妈坐在路灯透窗而来的微光里左右顾盼。一时间不知如何是好,也没有供电局的电话。互相讨论了一会儿,妈拍桌说,这电爱来不来,干脆去山里走走。于是一家人穿衣换鞋,说说笑笑往城外走去。那真是个特别的除夕之夜,父母面对突发情况的淡定让人钦佩,我这一生从未听过他们说一句抱怨的话,遭遇任何状况都坦然面对。

二○一三年的春天,乍暖还寒。我一向作息不规律,爸妈早已习惯,从不打扰我。一天黄昏过后,我睡醒来打开房门,豁然看见天井对面,爸妈各处一室,妈在缝纫,爸在唱歌,兴起处挥手打着拍子。在黑暗里,他们像两个闪亮的画框中的人物,并列在一起,如此地和谐。两人手势起落的节奏韵律,奇妙地应和着。我连忙架起相机,镜头都来不及换,按下按钮,站在他们对面的夜黑里,静静地看着,心中排山倒海。那是我第一次在一定距离外,长久地凝视我的父母,我仿佛看到了“地老天荒”这个词确切的含义。

也是那年,暮春的一日,下午我和爸在客厅聊起他的童年,不知怎么睡着了,傍晚醒来天已黑透。迷迷糊糊中,隐约听到小提琴声——爸又在练琴了。我心念一动,抓起相机,找遍楼上楼下也不见他踪影,我才恍然大悟跑去楼顶。琴音渐渐清晰,爸背对我站在天台一侧,不远处的橘色路灯把他映成了剪影。逆光下,他的几缕银发闪着光,在微风里飘动。暖调的夜色,把纷扰嘈杂的世界抹成一幅洁净的画面,我站在他身后静静地看着。在某一刻,我希望这画面永远静止,我们父子就这样相对而立。等他暂停下来,我问怎么到楼顶拉琴。他说,我看你睡着,怕吵醒你,跑上来练。说着微笑起来,那笑容里,每个细胞都焕发出无尽的柔情。

曾有人问我,你父母身上那么多让人感动的特质,对你影响最大的是什么?我想了想,回答说,是温柔。温柔能带来这世上最美好的东西。

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主播:苏北
制作:郡子
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