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收听播客

Vol.333《相遇 以共度余生为名》

《相遇 以共度余生为名》

 

一个转身,一个回眸,也许他就出现在你的视线里。而我,一直不相信这样的不期而遇,但是,我却经历了这样一场不期而遇。它同样毫无预兆,同样突如其来。

 

发行电台:陌声人
主播:立夏
制作:桥
编辑:宝
发行时间:2011/12/03

 

收听节目

 

下载  iPhone

 

一个转身,一个回眸,也许他就出现在你的视线里。而我,一直不相信这样的不期而遇,但是,我却经历了这样一场不期而遇。它同样毫无预兆,同样突如其来。

 

像是杂草丛生的内心,明明生活平静如水,却感觉不到一丝安宁的气息。遇见他,是最美的意外。

 

五月五日,我说,这个男人去哪儿都喜欢带上你。开车送你回家时会停在离你家最近的路口,你下车后他会目送你直到你走进楼梯口。你们都不喜欢抽经典,而他会把最后一只黄金叶留给你,自己抽经典。一起喝酒后你频繁地上厕所,他会在厕所门口站着,看你出来的时候是不是还好。只是,你们对彼此,一无所知。你敢不敢去博一次。

 

他并不故意制造的浪漫,终究是扫清了我内心的一片荒芜。这一缕阳光,照耀出一方天地,让我好不容易地动了心。只是在并不激烈的开始里,他握住了我的右手。明明只是36℃的体温,却被一下子升高到我所无法预知的温度,是无法言语的温热。于是我不愿再把心狠狠地握在手里,几年光阴累积下来的温存,终于被这一份简单庞大的温热所抵开。哪怕不再青春,哪怕不再明媚,也想再真真切切地爱一次,这宁缺毋滥的爱情。

 

尽管握在手里的时候,还不够确定,却很想再握紧了试试看。有的时候我只是想要有人紧紧地握住我的手,哪怕正在开车,哪怕与朋友大肆地聊天,我也只是想要有人揽住我的肩,在人潮里前行的时候,不会丢下走在身后的我。他抱着吉他自弹自唱,让我枕着这纯粹的声音入睡,才恍然发现这也是一种宠爱。而这样的宠爱,暖入心坎。

 

我未曾料到会有这样突如其来的恋情,甚至花却时间来验证,许久的苍白年岁,我已许久不曾爱上。我曾以为我也失却了爱的能力。然而这个男人的空降,似黑暗的花房里燃起的光亮,让我挥别此前步履维艰的窘境。

 

踩踏着荆棘丛生的路走来,累积在我们之间的开始是不停歇的磕碰。仿若两条本不相交的直线,在中途不经意的扭转中才无意地相交,有着锯齿之间发出的声响。我是这样迷恋他嘴角扬起的弧度,而他却记住我的声线。起初的艰难大概是为了让苦尽甘来的我们更深刻于这般来之不易。虽不曾争吵,却也躲不过分歧。敏感如我们,仿若蜷缩于山洞的兽,警惕于洞口的每一丝声响。只是幸而在如此分歧面前,我们都被理性地拉回,没有被分歧所分歧。

 

一直以来都以强势的姿态存在,像是戴着坚硬的盔甲,用强势的保护色佯装一切脆弱的真相。如今我却心甘情愿卸掉这身刚硬,它强大地保护我走过无数岁月,造就我坚韧的内心。只是如今我愿以柔软本身的模样对待眼前的这个人,隐去强硬,隐去这半空的感受,就这样还原爱情本身的模样便好,温婉,宽容,简单。徐志摩曾说,一生至少该有一次,为了某个人而忘记自己,不求有结果,不求曾经拥有,只求在我最美丽的年华里,遇到你。

 

而我,在这缱绻如花的岁月里,恰好,遇见你。

 

经过这隔在心底的千山万水,才艰难地探入彼此的心,心疼着他的过去,珍视着他的现在。

 

他曾说,我将用余生证明,和我在一起是世上最浪漫的事。

 

疲惫地在副驾驶座上浅浅地睡着时,他会伸手刮我的鼻子,或是拨乱我的刘海,而我一度认为,这个动作是充满慈爱的。喜欢每一次亲自下厨后看他带着欢快,满足地享用,而我总是不知道,那些食物是不是真的美味。偶尔牵手到公园里和着风散步,一路上自在地闲谈,或是沉默,偶尔短暂的四目相对,再相视一笑。许多话不需一夜说尽,要留作余生的话,说一辈子。人的一生,遇见不计其数的人,但却不是每个人都有幸遇到这样可以与自己有说不完的话的人。如此相遇,是福祉。而我,素来都是个惜福的女人,这样的话,说一世,都不足够。有时候我会想,就这么走到地老天荒去吧。

 

享受着如此静谧柔和的恋爱时光,并不盼求应有怎样续写的篇章,只要眼前这个人渐渐侵占了自己的内心,便是心满意足。一场旅行,终于让我们明白不能拥抱的艰辛。相隔一千多公里的城市里,闻不到一丁点熟悉的气味。言语和图像都不足以让思念得以释放,却因此坚定了要与他到老的念头。想念他在我们闹别扭时,固执地像个孩子,时常沉默不语,只能偶尔听到他的呼吸声。有时他会说一连串的话,语气平淡却尖锐,甚至刺耳,逼得我哑口无言。而当他冷静后我们会清空彼此的情绪,开始理智漫长的谈话。我喜爱这样的模式,很自在。在那个时候,我多么想念他的固执。而他或许不知道,远在异乡时看见他对我说,现在,你有两个家时,我是怎样的热泪盈眶。

 

望着窗外的陌生风景,多希望他就在身旁。下次,以后,我的旅途,你都不能缺席。

 

原来,想要和恋人相爱到老,根本不需要任何的勇气。

 

良辰美景于眼前,踏遍光影流年,跋山涉水而来的这场不期而遇,是以共度余生为名。

 

此文写给我最亲爱的野兽先生。2011年12月3日,清晨我抚摸着曙光醒来,粉饰朱颜,身着华服,以此生最美的模样待坐闺中,等你来牵。此时,我们的婚礼进行时,以天荒地老为终点,以白头偕老为时限,用一生为你写最华丽的诗篇,唱最动人的情歌。我爱你。到老。

 

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