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Vol.954《陪伴是最长情的告白》

 

那些撕心裂肺,那些疯狂炙热,是属于青春里的美好记忆,那就让它留在青春里吧。如今的我们,在这个嘈杂拥挤的社会披荆斩棘,只为给自己、给心里的爱一个足以依靠的容身之地。

 

作者:Kiki拉雅 | 主播:烁月

 

 

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朋友小白满腹委屈地跟我诉苦,说他男朋友变了。我问怎么就变了。小白说:“现在我生气他都不爱哄我了,哄几句就没耐心了,他以前不是这样的啊。你说他为什么会变成这样?他是不是不那么爱我了?”小白和她男友的事情我还是知道一点的,他俩相恋多年。因为男生家境不好,小白家里面其实是反对的。因为这个小白没少跟家里面的人吵架。或许有一致的外敌,内忧就显得不那么起眼。他们在这场保卫战里把爱情炒得热火朝天。虽然其中也是历经不少苦难,但小白乐在其中,她觉得这更能证明他们的情深似海,谁也不能拆开。

而今两人已经到了谈婚论嫁的地步,小白的父母虽然接受了男生,但还是要求男方要表现出足够的能力,赚钱买房了才可以结婚。这压力落在男生身上,他就拼了命似的工作,加班是家常便饭,陪小白的时间自然也变少了。小白不止一次这般跟我诉苦,我听得多了,反而倒有些理解那男生。

我说:“小白,我给你分析下。你看你经家里安排你进了事业单位,干着一分喝茶看报混日子的闲散工作,只等他挣够钱买房娶她进门,而他若不是真的爱你,又怎会这么拼着想尽早攒够钱。这样一来,他哪有闲工夫在上班时间陪你聊天。如果是你,晚上要加班做报表,明天还有五六个会等着开,你有精力去哄一个一次两次也哄不回来的人么?你有那么多多余的时间,为什么不在他回家之前做好一桌小菜,让辛苦一天的他能在家里吃顿热饭,而不是躺在沙发上催他回来陪你玩。两个人在一起,应该相互体谅不是嘛,为了你他挑起了肩上的压力和责任你难道看不见吗?”

小白听完无言以对。而我也惊诧于这些话竟然是出自我的口中,要知道,以前的我也同小白一般,就是一个黏人又无理取闹的小女生。那是藏在时间深处的某一个人,虽然我们不是因为无理取闹才分开,而我的无理取闹却也将他伤害。

对于大部分初次涉爱的女人来说,爱着那个人的时候,他几乎就是我们整个的宇宙中心,也正因为他就是中心,于是他的一举一动我们都敏感于心。那个时候我也像小白一样神经质,经常为了一点小事就和他吵得不可开交,吵到半夜又各自带着怨气昏昏睡去。这样的日子久了,筋疲力尽之后就好像连爱的力气都没有了。可很多事情明明是,你换一个角度去想,或者少一点胡思乱想就可以避免的,但是我们那时不懂。

和他分开后,我哭过、闹过、仇恨过,我辞职远行,不断地流浪、流浪……我以为那就是爱情本来的样子,爱时奋不顾身、别时痛彻心扉。可是后来,我们有了谋生的压力、父母的期待、以及生活中各种需要处理的琐事,这个时候才体会到,辛苦工作了一天下班回来,希望看到的是一个温柔的爱人,两个人坐在一起分吃一个水果,看一部放松的电影。没有折腾,没有吵闹,没有电视剧演绎的那般跌宕起伏,比起轰轰烈烈地爱恋,这细水长流陪你一世到老的感情,更是我们这些凡尘俗子们所希冀的真实。

后来,听说他有女朋友了,她挺好,不吵不闹。尽管我心里有一万个难过,可还是微笑着对他说了声“祝福”。闺蜜问,怎么这次不哭了。我说,已经够了!那些无眠又无助的夜里,那些被荒废在痛苦上的时间,它们已经消耗我够多了。我不能再哭,因为我不能顶着红肿的眼睛去上班,我不能再陷入痛苦的情绪里不能自拔,因为我还有很多事情等着我去做。我心里明白,我还是希望他过得好,只是我不想再知道。而我也深知我最糟糕的时候已经过去。

年少任性时候的爱情在我们的心里是神圣的,好似一种信仰,照耀着我们年轻的灵魂,给予我们力量;年轻时候的爱情又是炙热的,好似一团火,一不小心就烧伤了他人,也让自己遍体鳞伤。

成熟后的我们终于明白,爱情的本质是陪伴,而即便没有爱情,我们依然要积累起属于自己的力量,因为我们的生活里还有其他繁琐的事情。那些撕心裂肺,那些疯狂炙热,是属于青春里的美好记忆,那就让它留在青春里吧。如今的我们,在这个嘈杂拥挤的社会披荆斩棘,只为给自己、给心里的爱一个足以依靠的容身之地。

很庆幸的是,小白没有再放任她的任性。就在不久前,小白和她的男朋友领证结婚了。那两个红本本的照片出现在小白的朋友圈,像两个庄重而神圣的信物,然而我知道,接下来的婚后日子并没有这仪式感的庄重和神圣,有的只会是相濡以沫的平淡生活,然而这份平淡不就是我们苦苦追求不愿将就的小幸福么?

所以,亲爱的,我明天还要挣钱养家,真的没有时间荡气回肠、轰轰烈烈。若尚有余力,我会保护好我们之间的平凡美好,而希望,你能给我的,是哪怕一点点的温柔与体谅。

垫乐及素材:
1:《流光》-ルルティア
2:《瞬间》-邓紫棋
3:《失落沙洲》-徐佳莹

作者:Kiki拉雅 | 主播:烁月
制作:郡子
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