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Vol.865《最遥远的距离 张小娴》

 

她为了他毅然离开相爱八年的男人,一个背叛爱情的女人,放弃了唾手可得的幸福去追逐另一段没有承诺的爱,却也苦苦的相信爱情。最终她输了,输给一个已经死去的女人。终于她明白,世上所有的痴情,都是孤单的。

 

编辑:麦麦 | 主播、制作:宝

 

 

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故事的开头,她说,你不懂我的深情。
她为了他毅然离开相爱八年的男人,一个背叛爱情的女人,放弃了唾手可得的幸福去追逐另一段没有承诺的爱,却也苦苦的相信爱情。最终她输了,输给一个已经死去的女人,终于她明白,世上所有的痴情,都是孤单的。
情路上,我们曾经多少次跟自己说:“这一次,也许是会幸福的。”后来真的幸福了吗?
她说,幸福有那么艰难吗?从憧憬幸福到终于抓住了幸福,从渴望温暖到终于找到一个给你温暖的人,这条路到底有多远?
他的不洒脱,她的太深情,交织成了这么几句话:
最遥远的距离,不是生与死,不是天各一方,而是我就站在你面前,你却不知道我爱你。
你不懂我的深情,当你不懂,咫尺就是天涯。
这便是张小娴——《最遥远的距离》。

前些天上豆瓣,专栏作家周冲发来一个话题:对你苦苦暗恋的人说一句话。
一个网友语调轻松的发帖道:暗恋5年,有没有比我更惨的?
结果赢来大家的跟帖,好奇打开看看,竟是满屏的痴情儿女。
暗恋6年的飘过、7年快到八年、四年仍在痛苦中、暗恋十年、十二年……想着表白了,万一朋友都做不成,便一直抱着这个心态等着、梦着、暗自痛着。

也有人说,在该说的时候不说,就永远没有机会,等待是没有结果的。回眼看看,这种自己憧憬陶醉的爱情,只有自己知道,而对方却感受不到,到头来发现,你的深情不过是感动了自己罢了。
说着这样那样的话,说白了,不曾苦苦暗恋过的人,怎会理解暗恋的苍凉。

《最遥远的距离》让我想到泰戈尔的那首同名诗,很多人知道这首诗其实大概还是源自泰戈尔,其实此诗的作者并非泰戈尔,而是由张小娴首创。我还记得读书的时候偶然见到这句话,便回头去寻来读,懵懂的年纪其实并不太懂里面的情,但不知道为什么就感动了。

这篇故事,写的就是这样的“深情”。
张小娴以书信的形式开篇,字里行间是她熟稔的书写方式,像散文似的开花,像谈天似的结果。男主角云生,她们相识在买电暖壶的一个晚上,一个平凡的开头,日常的邂逅,他高大的身材裹着厚重的层层衣服,看起来很是虚弱,一切都是平凡的样子。只不过那天,她正好将续了八年的头发剪到耳际,因而不能忘却,剪了一把长发才遇见喜欢长发的男人。

看这本书的时候,我想起来一个朋友。去年她结束了一场长达10年的单恋,那天她打电话给我说,他要结婚了。
我了然问她,你跟他坦白了?
我猜的不错,她虽没有坦诚说爱他十年,却问他,你有没有喜欢过我?
我失笑地模仿他的语气道:爱过。
她沉默了一下,说没有,从来都没有。
她说当她听到这句话的时候,她确实很难过,但却也没有想象中的痛心,原来十年也不过就是这样罢了。看看豆瓣贴里的那些回复,暗恋,大抵都是跟自己较真罢。

爱一个人,仿佛天地万物都是他的神采,为了一张图买下陶瓷,为了一个名字而买下昂贵的吊灯,为了一串会发光的星星放下尊严,为了一句话便誓不放弃……
“爱一个人,不必让他知道,也能够为他放弃一切,那是最低消费,是我应该付的。”这句话,大约只有苦苦暗恋过的人,才会明白吧。

张小娴是善于表达感情的人,她不写痛苦,她写“我的喉咙像火灼一样,都是因为你”。她不写恐惧,她写“我在空中走钢丝”。
她喜爱用散文般的语言书写爱情的炙热和冷却,用如同对亲人说话的语调,点点滴滴的描述与他的第一次会面和之后的种种。她写苏盈的旧爱,她写苏盈的放弃,更多的却是写云生。
他们曾经很近,却因为太爱而弄巧成拙。
我不知道有多少暗恋过的人曾真的和对方在一起,又会不会像这样措手不及。爱是一种沉溺,你在跟鬼魂跳舞,我在跟自己苦恋。

最终,她想通了,她哀哀的说:世界上最遥远的距离,不是生与死的距离,不是天各一方,而是我就站在你面前,你却不知道我爱你。这仿佛世间最动人的情话,却不过是最后的告别罢了。
是的,爱情并不复杂,兜兜转转,流过不少眼泪,重逢的一刻也不过是“你好吗?”这三个字。你还在等吗?你好吗?

 

 

垫乐及素材:
1:《暗恋》-袁泉
2:《暗恋》配乐-石进《夜的钢琴曲》
3:《暗恋》-张智成
4:《暗恋》-陶喆

 

编辑:麦麦 | 主播、制作:宝
发行:郡子
版权所有
图片来源网络

 

 

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