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Vol.1063《对啊,我就是一杯12块钱的奶茶也买不起》

 

当你自觉不自觉要把一杯奶茶和你的衣食住行及必要劳动挂钩的时候,你就该明白,这种享受不属于你,不论经济上能不能支付得起,至少精神上你觉得你不该去享受它。当然,归根结底还是穷,总是想着攒钱,以防备可能的需要。

 

作者:学飞的猪女侠 | 主播:晓妮子

 

 

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1
入职时,听到要去上海培训,我的内心是拒绝的。试用期工资低,上海消费高,自给自足都成问题。好在公司很人性化,给我们提供了住宿和食堂就餐。其实,我很感激公司这样的安排,让我不至于捉襟见肘,揭不开锅。对于食堂的饭菜,我是感激大于品味。而且觉得很开心,吃住不花钱,除了必要的衣服和护肤品支出,几乎没有任何支出,一想到过年的时候我就可以攒下一笔钱可以给爸妈买他们很想要的礼物,我就觉得很畅快!我都可以想象得到老妈泪眼朦胧又老怀安慰的调侃”我们家倒提的钱篓子也开始进账了”!

这样的场景我想过很多年很多次,然而在念书的时候,实习工资和奖学金都是直接充入学费,我好像也没有争取去为爸妈买些什么。

2
从可以吃食堂到天天吃食堂,我吃了一个月。没有点过外卖,在同事们热热闹闹点奶茶的时候也从来没有参与过。带我的师父总是调侃我好胃口,觉得我能坚持一个月吃食堂简直太神奇。其实谁都渴望想干什么就干什么,比如偶尔点个想吃的外卖改善下伙食,不用在意价格;或者,在大家起哄哪个奶茶好喝的时候顺手点上一杯……

其实,这些我也并不是付不起。只是总是会不自觉把这些消费和爸妈所可能要付出的辛劳比对,我就没法心安理得的享受。一杯奶茶,妈妈要扫地1.5小时,灰头土脸,受老板挑挑拣拣;老爸要熬夜要被暴晒半小时……

当你自觉不自觉要把一杯奶茶和你的衣食住行及必要劳动挂钩的时候,你就该明白,这种享受不属于你,不论经济上能不能支付得起,至少精神上你觉得你不该去享受它。当然,归根结底还是穷,总是想着攒钱,以防备可能的需要。

3
上班的时候,骑着小黄车老远看到旁边工地的老伯蹲在路牙边用绿茶瓶接水管里流出来的自来水,老伯专注地盯着瓶口,生怕水漫出来,也许他是想天热的时候洗个脸,也许是解个渴……碰见这样的情况我只能心酸却不能同情,因为我的爸爸妈妈也是做这样繁重甚至不被尊重的工作,而我不想把同情这样的词放在爸妈的身上。

我经常想起去年12月,在找了两个月工作还是没有结果的情况下我决定先签县里的国企保底。妈妈晚上8:30在车站接到了我,带我到车站旁的小餐馆吃了一碗炒面。面有愧色,说爸妈没用,不能给你提供资源,只能你自己慢慢找,慢慢爬。其实,当时我真的特别愧疚,也特别想哭,念书十几年,不能改善爸妈的生活,不能为他们解忧,反而让爸妈操心。但我当时能做的只是在第二天早上走的时候把妈妈给我买的柚子分一半偷藏在妈妈晚上休息可以找到的地方。我的爸妈就是这样的,我和我妹也是这样的,其实彼此都压抑了很多欲望。我们是舍不得花,爸妈则是连吃都舍不得。很多农村的父母和农村出来的孩子也都是这样。

之前微博上有个特别火的话题”有没有哪句话,是你看到就要泪目的?”热门上有个短短的句子,有几万人点赞,最怕自己成长的速度追不上父母老去的速度。大概很多年轻人都有这样的感受,很多梦想归根结底都是想给爱的人好的生活,但现实往往不能够。然而,现在我能做的也只是认真的做好一份只能养活自己的工作,只能多看几页书,只能在简书上多敲几个字。

当然,年少的贫穷都不能代表什么,很多年轻人都还挣扎在脱贫的路上。这并不可耻,因为很多大佬也都是从这样困窘无奈的日子过来的。最重要的是要有把未来的日子过好的决心和行动。

12块钱的奶茶我也不是买不起,只是我还没有这样的心情去品味一杯奶茶。父母尚在苟且,哪敢妄图享受。等什么时候我有能力让爸妈像城里退休的小老头小老太那样,跳广场舞、下棋,能够享受生活的悠闲的时候,大概我才会有于午后午睡醒来,品一杯奶茶的心情,而我希望这一天不会太远。

当然,这只是我从一杯奶茶想到的,是我个人的经历和态度,对与此相反的人生态度没有任何评价。每个人只要自己觉得幸福就可以。

 

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作者:学飞的猪女侠 | 主播:晓妮子
制作:郡子
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